Deleted Scenes They Didn't Show You
by LadyBugGirl
Summary: There are things you didn't see on the DVD. When me and my friends, *ahem* VISITED the filming of Twilight, things got a bit crazy.
1. Chapter 1

**Aly: I don't own Twilight. Charlie's helping me write this. Charlie, do you own Twilight?**

**Charlie: I don't own Twilight, only James…Muahahahaha…**

**Aly: Charlie, we all know you have an unhealthy obsession with James, but you wouldn't have it if STEPHANIE MEYER hadn't written Twilight.**

**Charlie: Touché.**

(Camera crew prepares for the filming of Twilight.)

Edward: (Kisses Bella)

Bella: (Kisses Edward)

Dottie: Aaaaaahhhhhh! Noooooo! You will not kiss my future husband! (Slaps Bella.)

Bella: (Screams as she falls off bed.)

Dottie: (Throws herself at Edward.)

Edward: (Falls off bed.)

Bella: Security!

Dottie: (As she is dragged off by her arms) EDWARD! No! Call me!

(Camera crew was speechless)

(Camera crew prepares for the filming of New Moon)

Edward: Bella, we're leaving.

Bella: What? No…why?

Edward: Bella, I-

Dayna: (Screaming insanely) Noooooo! (Slams into Edward)

Edward: What the-!? (Falls over)

Bella: Security!? SECURITY!?

Camera man: Who the HELL is that!?

Dayna: BRING BACK JAMES! BRING BACK JAMES! JAAAAAAMES! (As she is dragged away by security guards) James! James! James! James! James! James! James! James…!

(Camera people shake their heads in disbelief.)

(Camera people prepare to film Eclipse.)

Jacob: I love you, Bella.

(A flash of purple is seen flying past the window. The camera people look at each other in confusion, but motion for Bella and Jacob to continue.)

Bella: Jake, I-

(There is another flash of purple flying past the window.)

Jacob: (Kisses Bella)

(The director halts the scene and glances out the window. She sees nothing.)

Director: Start the scene from Jacob's last line.

Jacob: Alright. I love you, Bella.

Bella: Jake, I-

(The camera man screams and points in terror at the window. Aly's face was pressed up against the window, her hands placed on either side of her head, banging on the glass. A sly grin creeps onto her face, as she slowly inches down below the window sill. She is gone. They all look to the director, fear in their eyes.)

Director: (Sighs) Okay, let's start from the beginning.

Jacob: Bella, _I love you._

Bella: _JAKE, _I-

Jake: (Kisses Bella)

Aly: (Screams like a banshee as she breaks open the window and jumps in, tackling Jacob to the ground.)

Jacob: What the-!? (Aly pushes him over again, silencing him)

Aly: Punch him Bell! Break his jaw! I'll go get the crowbar!

Jacob: Security!

Director: Who are you!?

Aly: I am your worst nightmare! (As she is dragged off by security guards) Break his jaw! Break his jaw!

(The camera people are preparing to film New Moon.)

Edward: Bella, we're leaving.

(Dayna's head pops out from behind one of the trees. In a flash, it is gone. The director motions for them to continue.)

Bella: What, no… Why?

(Dayna's head pops out again, this time from a different tree. In a flash, it is gone. The camera people look at each other nervously. The director motions for security to take care of it.)

Edward: It'll be like I was never here.

(As security guards move to the tree, a loud, piercing scream is heard, as Dayna rushes into view of the camera, holding a sparkly sign that reads, "BRING BACK JAMES!" As she is dragged off, she screams.)

Dayna: Why'd you kill him! Bring James Back! He was to sexy to die! Edward should have died! Go screw yourself Edward! Yeah, I said it, I said it! James, James, James, James, James, James, James!

(You can still hear chanting as she is dragged off the set.)

Director: This is getting out of control…


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight. Or Edward, or Bella, or Alice, or Carlisle, or Jasper, or Rosalie.**

**I also do not own Preston, or Jocelin, or BJ, or Dayna, or Alexis, or Dottie, cuz they're my actual friends! And they got copyrights on themselves.**

**I don't technically own Aly, because how can I own myself?**

(They are preparing for the filming of Twilight)

Carlisle: (He is looking for the set. He sees Jocelin leaning against a wall wearing a nurse's hat, attempting to appear seductive.) Um, hello?

Jocelin: Hello Carlisle. (She tosses her hair to the side in an attempt to look sexy. It gets in her mouth and she spits it out in annoyance.)

Carlisle: Have you seen Kristen Stewart or Rob Pattinson?

Jocelin: Oh, don't worry about _them _right now.

Carlisle: What?

Jocelin: Do you tell Esme _everything_, Carlisle?

Carlisle: Excuse me?

Jocelin: (She moves closer to him) You can keep a secret, can't you?

Carlisle: I have to find the set…

Jocelin: Come on, Esme isn't here right now.

Carlisle: SECURITY!

Jocelin: (As she is dragged away) I'll wait for you! CALL ME!

(They have just finished filming for the day.)

Rosalie: (She is in her dressing room)

(There is a quiet knock on the door.)

Rosalie: Who is it?

Preston: Uh, Catherine Hardwick!

Rosalie: Just because I'm blonde doesn't mean I'm an idiot!

Preston: All right, it's me.

Rosalie: Well, whoever _you _are, you have to come back later. I'm changing.

(Upon hearing this, Preston tries frantically to open the door. The doorknob shakes and turns, but he cannot get it open.)

Rosalie: I'm done changing!

(Preston gives up opening the door. He walks away.)

Rosalie: Wow, I really should lock my door.

(They are filming Twilight.)

Edward: (As he pulls Bella out the window) You'd better hold on tight spider-monkey.

(They disappear. The camera crew begins to pack up. Ed, my made-up name for one of the camera people, motions for Andy, again, a made-up name, to continue filming, as a strange girl has wandered onto the set.)

Alexis: Aha! This is Edward's room! (She hits her head on the ceiling)

**(AN: I'm sorry Alexis, but I will continue making tall jokes until I am one day taller than at least Kaitlyn! And if you don't actually know me, then you other people don't know who Katy is either, sorry.)**

Alexis: (She begins opening drawers.) Oooh! (She opens a drawer that is presumably an underwear drawer. She sticks her hand in it and pulls out- A RED THONG!?) OMIGOD! (She drops the thong and closes the door. She then notices the camera men.) Oh, um, hello. Forget you ever saw that, okay?

Ed & Andy: (Nodding their heads) Definitely!

(They are filming Twilight.)

Jasper: Alice, what do you see?

Alice: (Picks up pen and paper and begins to draw) Mirrors, a room full or mirrors.

BJ: (Appears from nowhere) Yeah, so you go check that out, and I'll watch your husband for you, okay? (She wedges herself in between Alice and Jasper.)

Alice: Are you with those other girls?

Jasper: It's a little obvious, isn't it?

Alice: I was just asking!

Jasper: You don't have to get all defensive! GOD! (Gets up and leaves.)

Alice: (Near tears) You are so mean! I knew this wouldn't work! (Leaves the opposite direction.)

BJ: Trouble in paradise?

Bella: You do know they aren't _actually _married, right?

BJ: Really!? That's great! Maybe he'll make me a vampire now!

Bella: It's a MOVIE!

BJ: (Covers her ears.) LALALALALALALALA! No, it's real! LALALALALALA!

Bella: Is not, Is not, Is not, Is not, Is not, Is not, Is not, Is not, Is not, IS NOT!

BJ: Is too, Is too, Is too, Is too, Is too, Is too, Is too, Is too, Is too, Is too, IS TOO!

Bella: Is not!

BJ: Is too!

Bella: Is not!

BJ: Is too!

Bella: Is too!

BJ: Is not!

Bella: Ha!

BJ: No fair!

(Alice and Jasper run back on, crossing each other, realizing they both went the wrong way to get to their trailers.)

(They are filming Twilight.)

Jasper: Alice, what do you see?

Alice: (Picks up pen and paper.) Mirrors, a room full of mirrors, wait a second, who is THAT?

(On the paper, is the ballet studio, with a strange girl laying on the floor in the middle of the room, looking at a watch.)

Alice: She's waiting for someone…?

Jasper: You're supposed to be looking for James!

Alice: Oh, there is, there he is! The girl is standing up, and James has a confused look on his face. Oh dear god, what is she doing? She looks like she tackled him! He fell… Uh, where'd his shirt go? Oh god! I want the visions to stop! Oh, now she fell onto one of the mirrors, it shattered! She unconscious! Oh dear god! Oh wait, she's getting up!

(Bella's phone rings. She answers it.)

Renee: Bella, Bella!?

Bella: Mom?

James: Forks High doesn't protect it's student's privacy very- what the-!?

Dayna: (Seductively) Jaaaaaames!

James: Help me!

(There is a muffled scream, then the line goes dead.)


End file.
